This week has been a new beginning and journey for me spiritually. It amazes me how God speaks even when we choose to ignore Him, specially in an area we struggle in. How much mercy He gives despite our disobedience. He constantly makes a way for us and is patient. God is so loving and sometimes I personally forget that. Over the course of the week I had an encounter with God through Him speaking to me through others on the gift of singleness. I will admit to you this subject is not that popular in our society, especially in a certain age bracket. However, we must face this subject with truth and honesty. So here goes.
Singleness- The Beauty and The Beast
I remember as a child I was hooked on Disney movies that involved the prince finding the princess. I wanted the fairy tale of true love. The prince saving me and being perfect. Without making mistakes or causing me any hurt or harm, I wanted it all. That mentality never went away. I found myself constantly thinking about an enchanted romance daily. I tell you those Disney movies can create a false hope and an unrealistic view of what love is. I continued to live my life according to the notion that I would get married and have a prince. I created a future and even set an age of when that future would take place! Can you believe I set an age! How crazy is that! I know we all have done it. I even played house and was known as the queen of playing a wife at my preschool. When it was play time I would always put on my princess dress that was sparkly and pink just like the princesses in the Disney Movies. I would wait for my prince and we would literally get married every day. Now that I look back on it I laugh, but I also notice my pattern. I notice that being married or being in a relationship has always been my idol. The question is why? The longing for acceptance, fulfillment, affection, validation, worth, success, pleasure, attention? We all may struggle with this or struggled with it in the past.
Society has placed a false reality that being married is better than being single and it goes the same way for being single and not being married. However; both are gifts. If we go by the world's definition on singleness we will forever be lost in a false reality that has no truth. God's instruction on singleness and marriage is truth, however we create our own truth or listen to the world's truth. I know that I personally have. Admitting that we believe the false truth about singleness is not easy. It took me trial and error to see the false reality in singleness. Even with warning I still believed in the wrong meaning of singleness. However, God showed me time and time again the truth. It was then up to me to accept His truth or reject it. I rejected it and found nothing but more loneliness and despair. I have learned through my mistakes and writing about it brings the lie to the light and causes freedom. I want to write about my struggles and be truthful with my readers, so that there can be change.
I had the privilege of opening up to my mentors and sisters in Christ on this struggle. I must admit I was stunned to hear what married women had to say about marriage. They were truthful with me and all the counsel I received lined up with the word of God. The bible verse that each lady stated was the message that Paul wrote about singleness:
" I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."- 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
They referred to Paul and how when your single you have more time to devote to God. You see many of us fail to see the beauty in singleness. This allows us to devote our all to God. We have the time to use all we have for God and for God alone. That is amazing when you think about it. Knowing that we have nothing else to focus but God is beautiful. When we focus on getting married or who our spouse will be, it takes away the time we have with God. Not to mention the calling He has on our life. This becomes idolatry and even turns into a burden. We find that our identity is founded in this notion of finding "the one". When the truth is, "that one" is already here. His name is Jesus! He is all that we need and we are His Bride! God has our lives in His hands and knows what is best for us. It is hard to believe that, but we have to believe that He has our best interest in mind. That is truth.
Thank you for listening.
(Stay Tuned For My Next Post, More To Come..) - Lady M
#Singleness #God #Jesus #Love
